Being in part a country boy,

raised with Cornish ideals

and my teenage years in a small

rural market town

deep in the Oxfordshire

countryside, summers in glorious

abandon on Guernsey country lanes,

I see no problem with tipping cows,

after all most work hard

in the sweaty conditions

of any restaurant and they get treated

like serfs by the chefs;

I see no problem with giving them

fifteen percent

on top of the bill, especially

if they give a courteous moo.