I heard a rumour that St. Peter quit his day job

All because some atheist had opened his gob.

He walked past the pearly gates waving his hands in the air

Whilst Jesus blubbed and wept with despair.

God by his side, shook his head and chewed on his cigar

Mumbling, “With that attitude he won’t get far.”

Jesus shouted, “What do I do when someone arrives?

Is it as simple as taking stock of their mortal lives?”

Peter (no longer a saint, he had handed his title back.)