I wonder what happened to the woman

who once claimed

with moral authority

that it took over a hundred hours

to get ready for a date.

I never did understand

what the hell would take so long

in a society where the expectations

are high and the results

are often low.

Clean my teeth, that takes time,

I hate having bad teeth, wash my hair,

grew a beard so I didn’t have to shave

and kept it unruly

like my hair, knots in which the hairdresser