You can call me a Tw**

I won’t take offence, call me a piece of

dirt, a shit, an arse, a f***,

Knob, Di**,

cuss me all you like, damn

me to Hell, liken me to porn,

if you feel cheap,

lazy even

forgo a letter, knock yourself,

find a better word than git,

Smeg is perfect, possibly,

it appeals to the Red Dwarf fan in me,

however,

don’t stand there and call me Hall,

that’s a No No;

you are not a N.C.O.