I chose life

many times,

pulling back from the brink

on a couple of occasions,

choose to be who I am

rather be someone I am not…

I chose washing machine, after washing machine

after one domestic appliance after another

and still I hammer them into the ground,

I choose not to own many

material items, never been swayed by a name

but always refused to anything made by Sharp

in the house as it would engender support

for Manchester United, I choose to not do that

for fear of being tainted with arrogance,

I choose to never wear a suit for anyone,

I choose to never have my hair cut again for another person,

did that once, never again,

I choose not to be drawn into your sycophancy,

I choose not to be ignored,

I chose not to like maths,

the tangent, the acute, the axis, the centimetre,

especially when you can take an inch,

I chose not to die by the hands of the distance

between us, not to watch television every night,

to fade out with the radiated shadow behind me,

forever imprinted with silence from the muted screen,

I choose Malta as a holiday destination,

I chose the scream of Heavy Metal,

I chose to like Folk, I chose some pop,

I chose Manchester City, I chose poetry,

I chose horror, Stephen King,

I chose crime, Colin Dexter, Morse,

I chose fantasy and Science Fiction,

I chose all my Doctors

I choose to like both Russia and America,

I choose to love you,

I choose to not hate,

I choose no side until pushed

but I will always detest the evil in the heart

of a Neo Nazi, I choose,

if I am fortunate,

my own time to leave, to not be buried,

to not give way to fashion, to be intimidated

by you, to feel your abuse or the kicking

again, I refuse to bow to insanity

of politics…

I chose

And if it didn’t go the way I planned,

hoped or desired then this is nobody’s fault

but mine.

 

Inspired by Train Spotting

Ian D. Hall 2017