Little by little,

it, for it

deserves no other name,

eats away at me, stripping bare

my resolve and my will,

my own mind, my thoughts

of which I knew I was right

even when others treated me like dirt,

my apologies, sincere, full of self loathing

because I had hurt someone…

little by little it is being sapped away

and in it, I hate.

I hate what it is doing to my body,

I hate the small changes

the blood appearing in my piss,

the specks of blood in my cum,

the tiredness I am supposed to overcome…

one day it won’t be easy,

today it is still beatable,

today I still raise a stick to it

and thrash it with all my might,

today… is not tomorrow.

 

Ian D. Hall 2017