It’s either this

or one of those embarrassing long messages

that gets thrown out to the world and might generate

a nod,

a look of bemusement,

a brief sigh

or even a single thumbs up,

proud and erect,

blue but well meaning,

blue but on its own;

it’s either this or worse.

 

It’s either this

or dark thoughts turn

on myself, they bite and snarl

and they infect, oh they infect

and turn poisonous pus towards

a final goal and I turn

away from sunlight and I burn

in the dark, cold flame burning

everything in sight and the final flash,

the explosion, glorious, catastrophic,

final.

 

It’s either that or I just leave,

I have walked away before

and whilst I always turn up somewhere else,

a nomad life of scars is preferable

to beating my head to shit

and playing hangman on my arms,

at least that way I guess,

due to the modern world,

I might not see a single thumbs up at all.

 

Ian D. Hall 2015