If the thought of the deceitful behaviour resulting in the

unkindness of Ravens, who cackle

in delight as they plot and scheme and smirk during the sentimental speech

at the wake of a buzzard and the hippopotamus  gloating as his bloated

views on such things are taken with a pinch of salt,

then be more concerned for the actions of another,

for the arrogance of Seagulls is absolute.

 

They strut round with conceit and an air of self importance

that belies their place in society. They may not be bottom

feeders but they pilfer the remains of the Saturday night take-away

left hanging out of the bus stop bin, dribbling cold

curry sauce or lumpy gravy down to the pavement and catching the ant

unawares as it wanders absent minded through humanity’s waste.

Whilst the bin is manna from heaven, better still is the moving object

as they sit upon the cross of the nearest church, angelic like, watching the

approaching storm from the South or the rising, sleepy sun  but with half a beady,

greedy eye looking down on the pseudo pasty, the smell driving them wild.

 

Perhaps it is in their name, rather than their nature, the seagull,

the desperately

want to be Eagle, but never having the fortitude, guts, brains or manners

to be thought of anything so lauded, just full of shrill filled rhetoric

that it doesn’t understand.

 

Swooping down upon the victim, the pasty disintegrates quicker than

a Rook surrounded by the avian equivalent of the S.S. the squadron of Magpies

puffed-up, superior in all but action and deed and with unwarranted pride.

The Seagull looks at the Magpie and puts its beak out, just slightly, barely

noticeable to the Robin, the Finch and Sparrow, and certainly not to the noble carcass

of the fallen bird who too soon learned of Icarus’s drama

or of the local ornithologist’s, Jonathan’s or pet Swift, who normally

challenges such puffed up arrogance.

The Magpie steps back, visibly shaken and the Seagull rolls its eyes in mock

salute and the Magpie knows its place once more.

The Luftwaffe Seagull scouts overhead, the populace most of the Time,

blissfully unaware just how much they are spied upon by the arrogance

of Seagulls, goes ahead with its business day to day, not realising that the deceit of

Seagulls, that their arrogance

shelters hatred and that the Owl Parliament

is in danger as it places trust in the sanctity of law as they sit

passing wisdom to all from inside

the holy cathedral, they themselves not seeing the infestation of cockroaches

freed by the Seagull’s mouth.

 

Ian D. Hall 2015.